Who are we when no one is watching?
Who are we without the burden of expectations?
Who are we when the noise of the world fades away?
Who are we, really?
The innate need to be recognized, accepted, valued, supported, and loved is inherent in each one of us. It's something we have as an instinct, and when it does occur, it can impact life positively. To achieve this, we sometimes mask our true selves.
However, in striving to fit in, do we sometimes become someone we are not? Is this a survival mechanism we have adopted in our evolution?
Everyday Disguises We Wear
We all wear masks at different points in our lives. Regardless of how we try to deny it, we put on masks to hide our flaws and to carry out different roles every now and then. The world has conditioned us to present ourselves in a certain way and we are bound by it. We often adopt stereotypical personas, hence creating a tension between what we are at our core and what society expects us to be. This act of faking slowly diminishes our individuality.
Remember those moments when we pretended to be happy but were drowning in an ocean of grief, with no anchor to hold on to? Or the times when we put on the mask of silence when a hurricane of the unknown swelled in our mind, desperate for an explanation? Or the instances where we acted strong and confident, but were really nervous and insecure deep down?
The only difference is that the firmness of these masks changes from time to time. They stop being a choice or a temporary act and become second nature. They attach to us so firmly that removing them feels like peeling off our own skin, so painful and bloody. Over the long run, these masks become an additional layer of our skin.
Chaotic Mind Behind the Masks
Wearing masks takes an emotional toll on us. The burnout, frustration, emotional disconnect, loneliness, unrealistic expectations, impostor syndrome, etc. that comes along with it, hinders our peace of mind. These made-up personas prevent self-improvement and opportunities for growth. A thorough introspection on this will lead to questioning our true self and the purpose of our existence, which in turn creates an identity crisis and disrupts our well-being.
But despite all this, why do we still wear them? To fit in with societal standards? To be accepted as 'normal'? To avoid being judged? To protect ourselves and be less vulnerable? Or to protect others from the truth of who we are? Whatever the answer to this, our sense of self has transformed into the masks we put on which is totally unfair to ourselves and others.
The Concept of Home and True Belonging
In the face of being who we truly are, we can finally drop all the masks and let our guards down in the only single place that understands us— Home. It is not a physical space but a state of mind— a feeling of peace, safety, comfort, belonging, and being surrounded by people where we can unmask ourselves without the fear of pretending. The more places you can call ‘home’, the less you feel the need to wear these masks.
But here's the catch: we search for a ‘perfect home’ while still wearing those masks of disguise. This is why we don't find the true sense of belonging we long for. We have to understand that true belonging comes from within when we accept ourselves. Until that happens, there’s a sense of emptiness despite everything seeming full.
So the real question is, do people love us for who we really are, or for the act we put on with these masks? While wearing them we lose sight of our real selves and we cannot wear these masks for the rest of our lives because our true selves will always find a way to shine through.
Embracing the Real Us
With a little bravery, we can learn to embrace our imperfections and let our homes form naturally, without the desperate need to search for one while hiding behind a mask. Instead of being in constant conflict with our inner selves, let us accept our flaws which make us unique, and realize that perfection is an illusion created by our mind's refusal to accept imperfection, which is the reality. The world is imperfect, but it gives opportunities for growth and achievement. Dropping these masks is not merely being truthful—it is about becoming whole and living a full life. Liberation from all the preconceived notions of society and being able to live as our true selves is like breathing the fresh air of freedom.
What would life be like if we could all just show up as ourselves, without the fear of being judged? Well, we stop seeking a place to belong– because we become our own home.
