Introduction
The average woman of above 20 years of age, worldwide, has had this question cross their mind at some point in life. For many, it seems like a choice of either one or the other, while for others, it's a challenge to embody both. The societal expectation is for women to choose one over the other, and if at all they desire both, to be able to balance them without breaking a sweat. This article mirrors the perspective of some women, and not only aims to show how success varies between individuals, but also permits women to redefine success in the most authentic way for themselves.
Women involved
Pat Kimathi (P) is a 27-year-old Kenyan mother, wife, and E-commerce Specialist. Rimsha Haseeb (R) is a 27-year-old Indian mother and Associate in the Content and Media Department of Girl Power Talk. Arlene Ayirah (A) is a 30-year-old Kenyan career woman in the communication space, and Gargi Chowdhury (G) is a 38-year-old Indian woman and an Associate Director in the Content and Media department of Girl Power Talk.
Q1: Motherhood or Ambition? Why?
P: For me, it’s both. I want my son to grow up knowing that his mother works smart, not just to provide for his needs, but also to pursue her own goals with purpose. Through that, I model values such as resilience, discipline, and determination, which he gets to see lived out daily. There are moments when it feels easier to let go of ambition and focus solely on motherhood. However, I have learned not to abandon my own sense of purpose. If I do, something important in me goes quiet, but I don’t allow it to linger for long because I keep feeling the pull to create, to build, and to grow. I have also learned that ambition doesn’t take away from my motherhood. It sharpens it. It makes me more present, more intentional, and more fulfilled, and that, in turn, makes me a better mother.
Source: Chatgpt
R: As a new mother and working woman, it's a constant juggle. Right now, a different kind of ambition wins out. It's about showing my little one that you can balance a career along with motherhood. It's about building a bright future for them, while also setting an example of strength and independence.
A: Ambition is taking centre stage in my life right now. I am in a season where building wealth and creating a life that feels full, intentional, and aligned with who I am matters deeply to me. I have been doing a lot of re-examining, prioritizing, and gently shedding what no longer fits. Society often sets a timeline for women to be married by a certain age and have children by another. But I am challenging myself to listen more closely to what I want and move against the grain. Motherhood, for me, is something I hold with a lot of respect and thoughtfulness. It’s a profound journey, and I believe it deserves to be entered into consciously, from a place of readiness, presence, and desire. At this point in my life, I am not in a place where I can fully take on that kind of responsibility. I am allowing myself to honour that truth without guilt, and have the freedom to explore life as it is. To grow, to build, to enjoy my work, to travel, to bask in my relationships, my independence, and the life I am creating. People need to acknowledge and be comfortable with making choices that feel honest, fulfilling, and aligned with the life they want to create. I am learning that there is quiet power in choosing myself, trusting my timing, and permitting myself to grow into the life I am meant to live, unapologetically.
G: It shouldn’t be a choice that women have to make. Social constructs need to change to accommodate the idea of a woman doing both. Men also need to step up more for their children, instead of letting women do the heavy lifting. When this happens, ambition and motherhood can go hand in hand without the women having to experience any guilt.
Q2: How would you define success in the space you are in presently- mentally, physically, emotionally?
P: Success, for me, is measured in the small, sustaining wins of everyday life. It’s my baby sleeping through the night, giving me those precious five or six hours of rest that carry me into the morning. It’s being able to submit my work tasks on time, even while juggling motherhood and home responsibilities. It’s nourishing my family by walking to the market, cooking homemade meals, and choosing health over convenience. Emotionally and mentally, success looks like finding a few quiet minutes to read the Word of God and pray before I go to sleep. Physically, success is the soreness in my muscles after a 7 km walk or an intense 30-minute core workout in my living room before work, proof that I showed up for my body. In this season, success shows up differently each day, and I have learned to recognize it.
R: As a new mother and working woman, success for me is being able to fulfill my responsibilities in both spheres. It's about staying focused at work, while also being present for my daughter. It's about being happy and fulfilled in both roles, and knowing that I'm doing my best. Some days are harder than others, but overall, it's about finding joy in the journey.
A: Mentally, I will define success as being in a state of peace and gratitude, and having a complete shift in the way my mind perceives danger, love, life, friendship, and family. Physically, losing some weight, getting stronger, and being consistent in going to the gym would boost my confidence and count as success for me. The gym has been a great start to my healthy lifestyle, combined with diet, which I fall out of sometimes, especially while travelling. Emotionally, feeling safer with my friendships, my relationship, and trusting myself more with decision-making is a success. Success also looks like growing in my career and taking on new challenges that will create room for me to even better my craft.
G: Success is when I can keep myself happy and healthy. That way, everyone around me can also be happy and healthy. Whether it is at work or at home, success is when I can sleep at night knowing that I have done my best for the day. This does not mean that every day is the same. Some days feel like a heavy burden, but if I have shown up for myself, then I have achieved success for that day. All other definitions of success, such as a well-paying job, foreign trips, and money, are laid out by society. I believe that all of this will follow if you can put your heart into what you are doing each day.
Q3: Do you believe that (work-life) balance exists?
P: No. On some days, the scale tips heavily in favour of motherhood. Other days, it leans toward my career, and guilt often tries to sit in the middle. What I’ve learned, though, is to stop chasing balance. When it’s time to bond with my baby, I put my phone away and give him my full attention. When it’s time to work, I show up fully and do my best with the task in front of me. For me, it’s not about equal time every day, but about doing the best I can, where I am, and with what is required.
R: As a new mother and working woman, I do not think it is easy to balance both roles. On some days, work takes priority, and on others it's all about the baby. However, I try to be flexible and to prioritize what is most important. So, no, I don't think perfect balance exists, but I believe that with the support of your colleagues or friends, one can manage.
A: Life is not linear because we get into different seasons at any given point in time. Balance depends on what season someone is in, what is important to them at that instant, and what they choose to prioritize. I believe that there is no particular script for what work-life balance looks like, so it can be whatever you make it. I believe in boundaries, and exercising them at work and with family helps me maintain my personal balance.
G: Balance is prioritizing whatever needs you urgently. If there is something at work requiring your urgent attention, you have to be there for it. If it’s your family that needs you, you should be with them. The idea is to have a support system both at the office and at home, which gives you the chance to prioritize one thing over another if both things need immediate attention. This is my subjective opinion, and I recognize that it might vary from person to person. Those who feel that balancing can be tough might need to take a career break. At the same time, companies should be more accepting when analyzing women who took career breaks. The entire ecosystem has a role to play in ascertaining that the balance between work and life is maintained.
Source: The Guardian
Conclusion
At the end of the day, the choice between motherhood and ambition relies solely on the individual. A woman should weigh her options and present circumstances before settling on one over the other, because eventually, she will bear the weight of her decision. Regardless, neither is superior to the other. Dear woman, the world is your oyster.
