“Go to school.”
“Read your books.”
“Don’t miss class.”
“Graduate.”
“Get a good job so you can have a good life.”
That is what many Nigerian children grow up hearing. It was certainly what I grew up hearing. And like many of us, I believed it. For as long as I can remember, success was presented as a fairly straightforward equation. If I worked hard enough, learned enough, and became good enough, opportunities would eventually come. Might not be immediately or as quick as I wanted. But eventually. So I did as I was told.
I studied hard and took school seriously. I tried to be responsible and focused on becoming a well-rounded individual. I had spent 5 years studying Biochemistry only to realise my future was pulling me in a different direction. So I started over again studying marketing and building my experience from scratch. So, believe me when I say if effort or skill was the deciding factor, I thought I had earned my place. However, what nobody prepared me for was that everybody else was doing the exact same thing.
So while I spent years thinking the challenge was becoming talented, I entered the real world and realised the challenge was much bigger than that.
The Equation Stopped Making Sense
In November 2025, I lost two jobs. I wish I could tell you I handled it with maturity but I didn’t. I was confused. In fact, let me be honest, I was angry. I remember looking at my CV and feeling genuinely confused. I had done the work. I had the skills and experience. Yet there I was, unemployed and uncertain about what was next.
At the same time, I was watching people announce promotions, new jobs, scholarships, speaking engagements, funding rounds, and career milestones. And the thought that kept running through my mind was:
“What am I missing?”
Because, according to the equation I had been taught, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Talent, hard work, and dedication should guarantee success. Instead, I found myself confronting an uncomfortable reality. Talent, skill and hard work matter. But neither one guarantees success in a world overflowing with talented people.
The Internet Changed the Rules
You see, there was a time when your competition was mostly the people around you. Today, your competition is everyone with a mobile phone and an internet connection. Every day, we open social media and step into rooms filled with extraordinary people. A nineteen-year-old launches a startup. Someone else publishes a book. A creator builds an audience of hundreds of thousands. A founder raises funding. And before you’ve even finished your morning tea, you’ve already been exposed to more success stories than previous generations might have encountered in months.
The internet has created opportunities that our parents could only dream about. It has made learning more accessible, expanded professional networks, and opened doors for people regardless of geography.
But it has also changed the way we experience comparison. It is no longer enough to be good. We feel we must also be visible. We must be memorable. We must somehow stand out.
Why This Pressure Feels Different for Women
For women, I think the conversation gets a little more complicated. Growing up, we were handed two sets of instructions. The first is that we must work hard, be excellent, and earn our place. The second is that we should not take up too much space while at it. Be confident, but not too confident.
Be ambitious, but remain agreeable.
Speak up, but not so much that people find you intimidating.
Stand out, but somehow don’t look like you’re trying to stand out.
Which is interesting when you think about it. You know you need people to see your work. Yet you also worry about how visibility will be perceived. You want opportunities. But you do not want to appear as though you are constantly seeking attention. For women building careers in creative and professional spaces, that balancing act can be exhausting.
What Standing Out Means to Me Now
However, these days, I think differently about standing out. I no longer believe the goal is to be the most talented person in the room. That is an impossible standard. There will always be someone smarter. Someone more experienced. Someone more accomplished. Someone who started earlier. Or someone who seems to be moving faster. What matters is developing a perspective that only you can bring. That has been one of the most valuable lessons I have learned through content creation.
The posts that connected more with people were rarely the ones where I tried to sound impressive. They were usually the ones where I sounded honest or shared something I genuinely believed in. I have long realised that standing out is not necessarily about being extraordinary. Sometimes it is about being recognisable, consistent and willing to show up and share your ideas even when you are still figuring things out.
Conclusion
The pressure has not disappeared. Some days, I still scroll through LinkedIn and wonder whether everyone received a memo that somehow skipped me. Some days, I still compare timelines. Some days, I still feel behind. I suspect many of us do. What has changed is that I no longer see that feeling as evidence that I am failing. I see it as evidence that I am human.
We are all trying to build meaningful lives in a world where talent is everywhere and attention is scarce. So perhaps standing out today is less about proving superiority and more about contributing meaningfully. Showing up consistently with your unique voice and trusting that it belongs in the conversation.
For women building creative businesses or personal brands, this means giving ourselves permission to be visible without apology. Our perspectives matter. Our stories add value. And in a noisy world, the courage to keep sharing them is what truly helps us stand out.
